Category: Writers Block
Hi there,
Lory needed a story, so I wrote this. This is the typoless version, enjoy.
once upon a time, in a far distant land, (for the sake of argument, but mostly clarity we'll call it wales), there lived a king. now some call him arthur,
and some uther. me, i know him better as good old uncle bob.
you may have heard of uncle bob and his round table. see this is another myth i need to dispell, because it wasn't round, it was square, and it wasn't a
table it was a grandfather clock. they also weren't knights either! they were in fact a bunch of irish fairies. now i mean fairy in the sense of wings,
and rings, and magic and stuff, not michael jackson and george michael etc...
so uncle bob, had a bunch of fairies, e i, e i, o. no no, different song, anyway. so uncle bob, and his fairies. they used to sit around this grandfather
clock. Why? Well, why else but to rule over the kingdom of wales, and make important decisions like what colour the flag should be, what to have in the
king's sandwiches for tea, stuff like that. Now sitting around this clock was a tad inconvenient because every time the clock struck on the hour, the fairies
would shit themselves it was so loud, so that the minutes of the meetings read something like this:
the king and his fairies, meeting, 1056
first order of business the colour of the king's ... shit!
secondly, what the king should have in his fuck me sideways that damn clock!...
which as you can imagine i'm sure, made the meeting's minutes a bit difficult to read. The consequence of this was that they abandoned the minute writing
in favour of getting fucked up on poppy seeds, and singing rude songs about the village girls till 3 o'clock in the morning! This of course gave rise to
that old welsh folk tune. uncle shut the fuck up i'm trying to sleep! translated into english as god save the queen, and nicked by the english to be used
as their national anthem. and that, dear lory, is how king arthur, um i mean uncle bob, gave the english their anthem.
I'm bored, so I'm ressurrecting this story of mine, lmao.
omg welshy roflmao. i love you. omg i forgot about this thing. lol